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12th-Sep-2008 07:37 pm - I wish my brain had a camera...

 

I really, really wish that I had some way to take physical photographs of images that keep flitting through my mind lately. They're not fully formed visuals per se, more like flashes that appear for mere instants before vanishing. They are both tantalising and frustrating at the same time - and are driving me completely nuts right now. I'm wasn't sure about asking about this here but my contact with others is a little limited and I would appreciate some advice from people who 'might' know what is going on.

 

This has been going on since late last night. I've been working night shifts for the past three nights, this one being the fourth and final of this stint, and the nights thus far have been unusually quiet and calm which has led to me staring into space for long periods of time whilst waiting for 'something' to happen (although I've probably just jinxed myself now) .

 

The images are, with little variation, visual flashes of a face or figure (sometimes more developed than others), and sometimes accompanied by a 'thought' - I'm not going to say I'm hearing voices because that isn't strictly true; these are thoughts or maybe recollections of phrases or words that I apparently associate with the person whose face I keep seeing. At least I think they are - some of the things I started getting in the early hours of the morning ( maybe 16 hrs ago now) seemed more like someone trying to actually my attention right then...

 

*shivers* Maybe I am going nuts...

 

Anyway, I have a feeling that the reason these images are so short and uncontrolled may be due to my reaction to them. The feelings that accompany them (lasting only fractions of a second much like the images) are of grief more than anything else and I shy away from that pretty violently. Come to think about it I've woken up the last few mornings with much the same feeling and yet unable to fully recall the reason why... Connected? Maybe.

 

I just wish I could either find a way to switch off that 'run away' reaction long enough to get a decent feel for the images, and maybe put a name to the faces (unlikely). Or at least find a way to be able to recall the flashes in enough detail to get a decent image down on paper.

 

Does anybody have any suggestions maybe on how I might be able to do either of those?

 

And whilst I'm here, since I have a feeling that 'meditation' might be one line to try, I want to just ask whether anyone else has ever suffered 'side effects' when they try and do anything on the astral/spiritual levels? I just asked because I've had a few incidents (more in the last few months than before) where upon returning to the mundane I have been left feeling physically ill, sometimes for up to several days. There is nothing medically wrong (been down all those avenues), and it only seems to happen when I try and do any energy based work that involves reaching outside of my own body. I'm left with the feeling like someone has either put me through several rounds in a boxing ring, or tried to tear my insides out with sharp knives. I guess it could be anything, but I figured I'd ask and see if anyone else has had any problems.

 

I've found a couple of things going on at that level, this is just one of them.

 

As for the 'images' - I'm getting two male's, one blonde, one red haired (deep, dark almost wine coloured really) and a lot of dark kohl-like eyeliner. I'm seeing the red head a bit more often than the blonde today, although the blonde was being pretty persistent late last night and was the one who was accompanied by the loudest verbal 'chatter'. One more thing... Red keeps smirking at me, and I feel like I want to throttle him. ^-^

 

If anyone has any ideas how I might extend these I'd be very, very grateful. Maybe throwing some questions at me to consider might prompt a few more details from my somewhat scatterbrained mind right now.

 

24th-Jul-2008 02:03 pm - Hola
Hi guys. Newbie to the community here. *waves* I just wanted to drop in and post something, kind of a two fold purpose to it really - firstly to introduce myself (I thought it might be a bit rude if I just started posting and commenting without it) and secondly to ask some opinions on something.

So, to the first one - My name is Lindariel, and I'm 23 yrs old and living in Australia. Originally from England but I am cursed with a wandering nature and have somehow ended up over here. Not that I can complain, I feel quite at home here in the heat. Always had a problem with the cold weather elsewhere, and I have to admit that the 40c+ temps in summer didn't appear to phase me too much. Much nicer than shiverring to death back in England (or roasting my friends and family to death by putting the central heating on full whack 24/7).

Anyway, moving on - I've been aware of being Otherkin for quite a number of years now but have been mostly doing the exploring by myself. Its nice to meet others like myself now and then though. I identify as Elenari, although to be perfectly honest I have no clear indication as to why other than the way some of my own 'recollections' seem to relate to others, minor things mostly, or how the stories of others seem to resonate strongly with myself.

Now, the second purpose of my post was to share one of my earliest 'memories', both in respect to age (past life) and the time at which I 'remembered' it (for lack of a better word). I just want to know whether anyone else has any recollections of something similar and if so where/what it may have been. I have my own thoughts on it, but I always prefer to get a 'second opinion' on some things, or at least see whether anyone else recalls something similar. 

The place I am asking about was a collection of large building made from some kind of white or very pale grey stone. They were situated on the slopes and peak of a large hill and the road to the place ran around the base of the hill, and branched off into a fork about half way around: one fork taking a traveller up towards the buildings, the other continuing on around the slope to somewhere else. The building itself was, I think, a collection of buildings although only one set actually stood out forefront in the memory. And that was made up of two, large square shaped 'towers' that were connected by an arch. This arch spanned across the pathway and through the arch was a large courtyard was visible. I don't recall any gates beneath the arch, but I guess if they were there they were most likely open and I probably wasn't paying too much attention to them (I was a bit antsy at the time). 

Anyway, walking up to stand beneath the arch I looked to my right and found a large wooden door set into the wall of one of the 'towers' (although I'm not sure that towers is the right word... they weren't gigantically tall but they were quite long and wide). 

That about describes the place, if anyone is interested in seeing it in context with the actual dream you can take a look at the Journal Entry. I really would appreciate any comments should anyone have anything they can add that might help, or if it perhaps sounds similar to something anyone else has witnessed.

To be honest, I'm a little nervous about asking - I'm still going through the 'you're just crazy' stage, or at least thinking that people think I'm crazy anyway... ^-^ But it's been bothering me for a few years now and I just have the urge to ask. 

Thanks all. And nice to meet you. ^-^

(I am going to make a duplicate of this post on the Elenari group, but something keeps nudging me to post my query here too. Thanks for your patience all).
elven glare

 I did get a memory/vision through last night, I THINK  (am pretty sure) its to do with my Elenari life.

In it, I saw a deep chasm, with a flat bridge passing across, and the other side was "someone elses" land/ territory. We (a mixture of Adrastai, and villagers) were all further back along the cliff, following a trail and looking west towards the bridge. 

(At this point in 2008, Mum came in with a cup of tea, but I got a sequel a few minutes later, when I relaxed again!)

 We were then crossing the bridge, and on either side of the bridge were these people, taller than most of us lot, in grey cloaks, carrying tall spears. While they were being very disciplined, I could also sense they were pleased to see us. 
I wonder who "they" were? Any ideas? Their long grey cloaks were definitly part of a uniform.

 It just piqued my curiosity. :)

8th-Jan-2008 06:55 pm - Changes and stirrings
expressive
This might only be applicable to me and maybe one or two others but thought I'd ask. For me, many mundane and magical changes are underway. Part of this is reconnecting with Elenari where communication had gotten sparse. Part of it is finding other Elenari I hadn't met yet, and things like this community. Part of it is getting re-involved in a larp I had given up for 10 years because there was no local chapter here. (And that relates to the Elenari how? Because it's a consensual reality that hundreds of people pour energy into and have for over 15 years. It's mutable. It affects this reality. And at the very least, I get to have fun "roleplaying" being an elf and exploring those personality aspects in the fullest.)

Now, the Stuff Happening comes in cycles, I've observed. There will be months of blah, nothing going on. And then there will be a spurt of activity. So - I just wanted to find out if this was one of those spurts for other people.
31st-Dec-2007 05:15 pm(no subject)
elven glare
 

(Xposted to

elenari)
I am trying to place one aspect of my Adrastai memories involving an encounter with another race of Elenari, now I do not know who they were, other than they came in on ships, and wore armour, which we didnt. I also get the feeling that there was some kind of treaty, or joining of forces.  I wondered if anyone recalled such a race on Sel'lar or had any more information. 

Incidentally, does anyone have info on any of the wars that took place on Sel'lar? 

Thanks :)

 

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